When my husband told me to shush professional#There are the friends I have felt genuinely close to because we’ve struggled through some professional difficulties together, not in spite of the fact that we were initially brought together in an office. My “best friends” in fact, few of whom live in the same city as me, I barely speak to once a month. There are the friends I am always thrilled to see when they’re in town and with whom I can keep up the most invigorating banter, but months can also pass between our calls. Those are the bonds you should make sure you’re cultivating with adequate care and attention.īut when I tried to apply this litmus test to my own network of friends, the hierarchy collapsed. (Or so Aristotle says.) And the thinking goes, if you’re feeling untethered from society or the world, it can make sense to winnow out your shallow friends and hone in on these deeper connections, the people you would hang out with one-on-one, to apply an easy framework. There’s a theory that the shallow friendships and acquaintances that come into your lives, often to fulfill utilitarian needs-workplace colleagues, carpool mates, and the like-don’t matter as much as the friendships that have deeper roots and are grounded in pure pleasure. We chatted via our AirPods while we strolled, but it wasn’t the same. Yes, she texted back, excitedly, I didn’t know you were here! No, I clarified, I was just going to, um, call her on the phone. One evening, I texted that neighborhood friend to see if she wanted to chat while we walked.
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